Sometimes I break down
Out of the blue
Like unexpected storm
Which hits the land
For no real apparent reason
Grief kicks in
And surprises me with its despair
And I stand there helplessly
As my skirt gets soaked by rain
Vulnerability shows its face
The layers of ‘I’m fine’ are wearing thin
Penetrated by loneliness
I become silent
My head aches
From all those unshed tears
Which finally are released
Through the veils of self-preservation
I’m angry I’m sad
I’m frustrated
I have no patience
I shout I scream
I grind my teeth
But nothing brings back my child
Only the memory remains
Of her tiny little body
Never meant to grow
Beyond the picture in my memory